Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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