We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
