I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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