Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
