3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
