Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
