I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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