I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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