No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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