Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
