Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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