Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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