I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
