I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
