those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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