We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
