Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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