I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
