If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
