remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
