a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.