I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
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To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
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I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.