Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
