john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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