i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.