Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy