its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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