I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
