I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize