Dual....:-)
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
