hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize