hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
