So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
