The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Your topless pictures make me question reality
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
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