I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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