break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
