do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
