What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
