Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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