It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I've blown a few things in my day
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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