so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
