My sheets look like a crime scene.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
