I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
