I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
