He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
