just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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