i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
