She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
