even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize