My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize