can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
