i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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