There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
