i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
