marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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