Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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