we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Randomize
