Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
