reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
