I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
