He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
