So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize