I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
