from now on my penis is your penis
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize