I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
