i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize