Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
